Dwayne Perkins

Comedian Podcaster Actor Stand Up

No Man is an Island*

I returned to my car after visiting a friend to find that I couldn’t find my keys.After an extensive search of his place and the perimeter of my car, I could only conclude that I maybe left the keys in the door and someone had them.I never lock my keys in the car...

CAPTAIN LITERAL

I was on a plane and before take off they said “It’s against federal regulations to tamper with, disable or destroy airplane bathroom fire detectors.” Okay….don’t you have to tamper with something to disable it. Furthermore, if you destroy something it’s pretty safe...

Round Mound of Rebound

Why is Dwayne Wade so pressed to be in Charles Barkley’s 5?! more importantly What’s up Charles’ ass that he can’t add one of the NBA’s best to his five? even more importantly What exactly is a five? Then again, I’m the guy who...

Yoda Slow Yo

I watched Star Wars Episode 2: “Attack of the Clones” again this week. It’s my favorite of the prequels. No hate mail please. I’m sure your favorite is good too and you have compelling reasons why. The one thought I kept having through the movie was “How come they...

Throw Some….

The song “Throw Some D’s on that Bitch” is my new favorite guilty pleasure. And now that Kanye West is on the remix, it’s on for real. The original song was about putting- excuse me- throwing rims on a car (twenty inch rims to be exact) Kanye’s verse is about girls...

Hotel? Do Tell

Recently, I spend a few days in the Grange hotel in Toronto. I found this jewel on hotels.com it was the cheapest place that had all the amenities I wanted (mainly parking and internet.) The place was great. But I definitely got the feel that this was an apartment...
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