by dwayneperkins | Mar 4, 2005 | Uncategorized
So I’m in the chair getting oral surgery. It’s as bad as it sounds. The guy is to cut bone from behind my molar and move it to my front gums. All this and I’m wide awake. Luckily for me, they gave me an I-Pod loaded with the Beatles’ greatest hits. I could barely hear...
by dwayneperkins | Mar 3, 2005 | Uncategorized
We’ve all had that friend over our house or on the phone we just couldn’t get rid of. And no matter how many hints you dropped they just didn’t get it. Well, one day you find yourself in a situation and realize you’re that person. It’s terrifying when you realize your...
by dwayneperkins | Mar 2, 2005 | Uncategorized
So, I was very pleased with my 12 dollar mall massage. I wasn’t sure how much to tip the guy. I kinda wanted to tip 2 bucks. That way I could give him a twenty, get back a five and still have a dollar I could use for licorice ( I like my candy circa 1850.) But alas, I...
by dwayneperkins | Feb 25, 2005 | Uncategorized
In Korea, I had the great fortune of buying a custom-made blazer. Think used car salesman but way cooler (no really). On the up side it fits like a glove and MY NAME IS EMBROIDERED on the inside. That’s right my name. On the down side my friends have to hear me tell...
by dwayneperkins | Feb 24, 2005 | Uncategorized
I was on a plane from New York to Los Angeles. The waif girl next to me woke from her stupor just in time for the apple pancakes. She really dug in and took exactly 3 bites of her breakfast. I think she’s sitting on a gold mine. Everybody’s doing the South Beach,...
by dwayneperkins | Feb 17, 2005 | Uncategorized
I’m a professional packer but 2 days of unplanned Bikram Yoga made me burn through my undies and socks 1 day short of my return home. I had no time to wash clothes, so I sprayed my underwear and socks from the night before with Fabreze and jumped in the shower. Well,...
My Book
Hot Chocolate For The Mind
My Comedy CD
Dwayne Perkins To The Rescue
My Other Comedy CD
She Ate My Haircut