I was actually the first person I ever heard say “Ninja Please.” I know many have since and maybe I wasn’t “thee” first but I was the first “I” heard. I used the term back in the nineties when you was all, “what’s email?”, “page me.” And I was all “How much does that cost?” Well some things don’t change. I’m still all “How much does that cost?” Some things do change though. Or at least they evolve. I don’t do the Ninja please joke anymore and I now host Film Festival Award Shows. The organizers paged me with their request for a host.

The Comedy Ninja Hi-Yah festival was a blast. I was honored to be a part of it. Especially with this being their inaugural year. Comedies are the hardest to do and at the same time get the least respect (comedies never win Academy Awards.)* Making a funny movie or short is like juggling while walking a tight rope while loud music plays and people throw debris at you. It’s hard! And so many things can go wrong to make a joke/scene not work. This being the case comedies need their own festivals where the precarious walk that is comedy can get its just do.

Now, hosting an award show in the light of day in a room not designed for Stand-up is harder than Chinese Math. I’m not sure why Chinese Math is so hard but my people assure me that the analogy works. Who do you call when you need to make the impossible look easy? One Dwayne Perkins of course. I opened up the proceedings with some stand-up. I had to take a crowd from daytime drinking and chatting to laughing and fully focused and with no transition. Done and done. But how, you ask? Smile, tell the jokes and don’t apologize. I did have a secret weapon though. A custom made suit. A poorly fitting suit says,”Would you like to hear about my insurance packages.” A custom fitted suit says,”I got this!”

What better way to show my appreciation and empathy for the process all the filmmakers went through by going through the process myself while they watched.


You have a year to get your film ready. I did ask how much when I bought the suit. The price was right as I purchased it in Hong Kong. I had an interpreter help me with the Chinese Math.


*Annie Hall won in 1978   but that’s clearly the overwhelming exception

More pics from the Festival:


with naomi grossmanwith amy hill2ninja show2