Where Have All The Cowboys Gone

If chivalry is not dead, it’s definitely on life support.  Yesterday, while sitting in my favorite local Boba spot*, I saw a college aged baseball cap wearing guy with unwarranted confidence and formulaic swagger.  You know the type.   They’ve learned that sticking your chest out and looking cool can get you by most of the time.  That is, until you find yourself surrounded by people who respond to talent and character more than posturing.  You may think I’m being hard on the young lad but my knee jerk assessment was soon confirmed.

He was with a girl.  A tall modelesque creature with legs for days and a really pretty face.   I could see that the guy was punching above his weight and maybe that was the reason for him over doing it.  For men, when in doubt, be confident.   Women often confuse arrogance for confidence and being unconfident is a certain kiss of death.  So I decided to give him a pass.  Fake it til’ you make it.  Show no weakness, lest you lose your tall pretty drink of water.  Then he proceeded to kill an ant with a sledge hammer. I’m saying he was too cool…he went too far…he…(just read on)

Apparently the kid had one stamp to go on his frequent buyer card and then he would be awarded a free drink for his devoted patronage.  I’m thinking this guy scored.  He can get the girl a fancy schmancy drink and not spend money set aside for his lab books.

Then came the “Oh no he didn’t?!” moment.  He asked the cashier if the lovely could buy herself a drink and if he could then take her stamp and use it to get himself a free drink.  So, not only did he not but her a drink, he used her purchase to contribute to his “free” drink.  The cashier was stunned.  I Imagine the girl was stunned too but too caught off guard or polite to say anything in that moment.  Or maybe the kid acting like a “Nickname for Richard” made him more appealing to her.  Maybe he just earned 3 more dates by being an ass.  Maybe she’ll date him for months or years.  Maybe they’ll marry and have kids.  Whatever the case when they split (yes, when not if!) she’ll think back to the boba date and think to herself that she should’ve known.

I could tell by the body language that they weren’t old friends.  He proceeded to talk about everything with that air of self-assurance that only someone with no self assurance can pull off.

I’m sure I’ve done my share of selfish things without even realizing it but setting the collective bar so low will eventually be bad for both genders.  Malcolm X said you can judge a nation by how they treat they’re women.   America, can we buy our women boba tea?  Or at least use our “free” tea on them.   The world is watching.

5 thoughts on “Where Have All The Cowboys Gone

  1. but did the cashier let him get away with his audacious request? inquiring minds wanna know…

  2. Doug Stolhand

    The infuriating thing is that he still scored with her. As a guy that struck out with women more often than Stevie Wonder at the batting cages I can tell you that being an arrogant ass and treating women like dung gets you laid more than being a nice guy who treats women like a princess ever will. I blame this 100% on women. All that crap about loving men with a good sense of humor…it’s all feces. Ask any stand-up comic how much he got laid in high school and/or college and you’ll get all the information you need to confirm that funny = masturbation while arrogance = fornication.

  3. Administrator

    The cashier had to adopt the a-hole customer is always right approach. Doug you are correct! But it’s no longer fun and games once the girls get older and the good guys start looking way more appealing but the good guys suddenly have options. Those tables turn hard.

  4. me!

    …and this is why the Open Letter to the Women of Los Angeles should be required reading. Otherwise, you may look to any recent column by Dear Prudence for the consequences.

    (This has been a public service message by the Official Gay Wingman to Dwayne Perkins.)

  5. yes because teenage girls want the exact same thing in a boy as a grown woman in her twenties and thirties does…

    also ask any girl who had glasses and braces in HS how often she got asked out way back when… I’ll bet those numbers match up purty darn close to Mr Class Clowns

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