So I’m on a flight from Jacksonville, FL to Houston, TX on my way, ultimately, to the City of Angels. Which, my trip taught me, could also be called the city of no humidity and no mosquito ambushes. I was actually looking forward to seeing the smog cloud over downtown LA. Well, that and some Witch Hazel and Calamine lotion for nursing the bites obtained in the aforementioned flying bum rush.

There is a descending wish list that most people have in their heads when it comes to who sits next to them on an airplane. For me, No one is 1st, pretty girl 2nd, thin person 3rd and everything after that is a grin and bear it scenario. So as I sat in my window seat, I watched with abated breath as a handful of pretty girls glided down the aisle toward me. Half of which were skinny. Win-win in the airplane row mate game. In life I usually opt for a little more “cushion”. But that’s neither here nor there.

As I rarely engage my adjacent travelers in conversation, “skinny eye candy!” was what I was chanting in my head as the Who’s Next To Me Wheel spun. My rough estimate of the number of people at the gate made me already accept that “No One” was off the wheel.

Hope turned into disappointment when all the lovely birds walked past my row and my wheel stopped on a 6 foot 5 behemoth with broad shoulders, acid washed jeans and some sort of hybrid mullet under a Budweiser Baseball cap. He was well groomed but that did little to assuage his resemblance to the Geico cavemen. Needless to say I relinquished the arm rest.

The caveman made my jaw drop when he pulled the latest Chelsea Handler book out of his bag and started to read it. What the…? Maybe my wish was misinterpreted. Instead of sitting next to a lovely I was sitting next to a guy reading one of the lovely’s book. I know Chelsea. She’s brilliant, hilarious and very down to earth. I’m just surprised that my formidable friend knew that. Of course, he could have pulled out “Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret” and I don’t think anyone would give him any flack.

This is the way it should be. People should fight against being herded into a neat little segment that can be marketed to in neat little ways. Remember when people who sell things purport to make things “easier” for you they are probably cutting you off from a whole other world of options you may actually like and benefit from.

I look forward to the day when a Goth girl next to a motor bike rider next to a grandmother all pull out the latest book by Dwayne Perkins and share a little chuckle.

Then I look forward to the day all three pull out the 2nd book by Dwayne Perkins and there’s no acknowledgment or surprise. Well, maybe a little surprise that I have a 2nd book out. 🙂