My apologies for the sensational title. While the title is technically true, there won’t be ravenous cheering women flinging money at me any time soon. At least not in a public. I’m going to dig out an extra power outlet strip and start bringing it with me to coffee shops. I sometimes go under the moniker of “Facilitator of A Good Time.” I think facilitating electric harmony is equally important.

There’s always an appreciative sigh of relief when someone produces a power strip. Bringing an end to the game of musical power outlets that naturally takes place at coffee shops; especially those in the greater Los Angeles area. I want to be the source of that ahhhh. Some people want to build low-income housing or feed the poor. I want to prevent hipsters from losing their data. If America’s next great screenplay isn’t on my laptop at least I can provide electricity for the laptop that it is on. Of course I run the risk of powering up the machine that brings the world the next greatly lame reality show.

The daytime coffee shop is a sea of individuals gathered but often not connected. Things like chess and power strips builds community. So I think it’s fair to say I’m becoming a community activist. Right? I am a man of the people and my new plan is an extremely minor way to “stick it to the man.” I’m sure the bean counters at your favorite coffee shop have calculated their costs based on the number of outlets they have in the store. They probably didn’t account for a power supply Robin Hood taking power from the rich and giving it to the ironic.

I will limit my electric siphoning when I’m in mom and pop establishments. And please if you’re on my power strip, no solitaire. I strip for workers.