I saw a guy on The Today show on NBC telling another guy how to approach women. He told him to have good posture and walk into a room like he owns it. Bad Boy Swagger in a box. No doubt women like a confident man. I also recently had a group of women tell me the top thing they want from a man is that he be nice. Now when I say oxy, you say moron….Oxy…Moron…Oxy…Moron. I’m not saying a confident strong guy can’t be nice but it’s more likely that a nice guy may also prove to be confident and strong. He may not demonstrate those traits right away like James Bond. But when you think about it, most of Bond’s girls die. High cost to pay for having the “perfect” guy.

Walking into a room like you own it isn’t a habit of most “nice” guys. If you’re really nice, why would you want to act like you own something that isn’t yours? And even if you did “own” the room wouldn’t you be a gracious welcoming host?

I say look for nice and hope you find confidence later. That’s much better than seeking out confidence and not finding niceness. Then you’re left with what has left a bitter taste in the mouth of many a woman: arrogance.

Arrogance and confidence are nearly impossible to differentiate at first. It’s like telling a yam from a sweet potato. It’s takes a trained eye. That’s why you have to seek out good right away. You shouldn’t have to excavate for goodness.

When I think back to the times when I had a swagger or pep in my step I was usually scared and overcompensating. When I’m the big dog in a room I don’t act like it, I let others show it for me. Of course all this is held over from our cavemen roots. That’s why guys all the world over like girls with a 0.7 hip to waist ratio (google it or yahoo it). But we don’t live in caves anymore and society lets the weakest man wield the most power if his brain is powerful.

We can’t totally escape our innate nature but to guys I say accept a 0.6 or 0.8 hip to waist ratio and women don’t make nice guys act like jerks. What if it’s permanent?