I’m sitting there stressing out about buying Christmas presents and doing all the dirty work my non-existent assistant should be doing; Updating my calendar, adding people on Facebook, ignoring people on Linkedin.*

Anyhoo, I’m expeditiously plowing through the tedium when I overhear a guy sitting behind me say…”I might do porn again” Porn Star says what?! Now there’s a boredom buster if I ever heard one. By the way, “Dreaming of a White Christmas” was playing through the PA system. Yikes.

QSN: Why is every porn person a star? How come there are no Porn character actors. Where is the Steve Buscemi Porn equivalent? You know someone who may not be able to carry a movie but does a great job in every thing they’re in ala Joan Cusack.

Without moving an inch, my ears perked up. I glanced over quickly just to make sure they weren’t some yahoos faking a conversation just to get a rise out of folks nearby. They weren’t. This porn Scrooge was killing the holiday vibe. My mother whispers on the phone when telling me mild family occurrences and these guys think porn work is appropriate Starbucks full-voice talk during the holidays?!

MY MOM: (whispering)You know your uncle got a speeding ticket?

ME: What?! I can’t hear you. My knuckles need a cheese biscuit?…

To strengthen his case porn guy said to his friend. “I would rather do it for a ½ hour and make the same money as working a regular job all night”

Wow. Either porn doesn’t pay much or this guy has a really low paying normal job. Every time you disrobe and get goggled at, a bit of your soul dies. Why lose a chunk of your soul just to avoid one night’s work? It may not be worth it for any amount but definitely not for one night’s pay for a film that will live on forever. Not to mention the Ghost of STD’s past.

I guess Scrooge was just weighing his options going into the New Year. I just hope Scrooge remembers that he stopped his film “work” for a reason. Then again porn is a billion dollar industry and somebody’s got to do it…I guess.

*Should I be on Linkedin? Perhaps this can wait til I actually get an assistant?