Dwayne Perkins

Comedian Podcaster Actor Stand Up

Whoever said little things meant a lot was a very wise person.  Although, I think that statement is the abridged version of the sentiment it means to convey.  It really means little things that suggest a deeper thoughtfulness mean a lot.  Someone gives you a book of matches and there’s no need to throw a parade in their honor.  Now make that match book from the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach and, you once mentioned in passing that you collect HOB match books and the only one you didn’t have was the one from Myrtle Beach.   Suddenly that little gesture means a lot to you and your senseless collection.

I’m a simple man.  Some people co-op the “Simple” moniker but then you get to know them and they’re more complicated than Chinese math.  They contradict themselves so quickly, that you check them for gills. Thinking, they must be a fish to have such short term memory.

You can’t call yourself simple unless you’re also consistent.  That rules out an entire gender.   I’m not saying which one…but you know…  Anyhoo,  I’m consistent.  Almost to the point of concern.  Emerson said, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of a little mind.“  This would keep me up at night if he didn’t throw in the word foolish.  I’m predictable but there’s nothing foolish about flossing, putting on lip balm or moisturizing.

Basically, I do everything in between maintaining my teeth, lips and skin.    The up-keep of those three things is my real job and I squeeze in time to write and perform in between applications and dislodging food particles.

So when you see me do all three all throughout the day, cut me some slack because those things are important.  Would you rather I have gunk between my teeth, “powdered donut” lips and hands that look like I was twirling pizza??

Now that I’ve proven I’m not little minded let’s get back to little things that mean a great deal.  I was floored when my homie bought me almost a year supply of Floss, Lip Balm and Lotion.  And the good stuff to boot: Glide, Chap-Stick and Lubriderm.  What do you get the guy that has everything?  Well, last year it was an ipad, from ma-dukes and the fam-bam, this year it’s the tools to keep his game tight.

The gift was perfect because it’s so specific to my life.  I’ll use it everyday.  And what do I want next year?  Well, the same thing of course.   Well, maybe Tom’s of Maine Floss, Burt’s Bees Wax and Kiehl’s.  Just kidding.  Good looking Aaron.

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