Tastes Like Chicken

I pride myself on being a pretty accurate guy.  A person should only embellish when telling a funny story or when on stage, and even then with care and selectiveness. I think one should always be as accurate as possible.  My reasoning is hard to put in words but I feel that unnecessary exaggeration necessarily diminishes the perpetrator’s power, life force and ability.  A person who exaggerates incessantly may be discontent with their actual life and run the risk of becoming addicted to making up stories to feel adequate.  They also run the risk of adopting a victim mentality if their exaggerations tends to stray to the negative.

EXAGGERATOR: My car literally breaks down every other day.
ME: Really? And how long have you had this car? Two years. So your car has broken down 365 times? That doesn’t seem reliable. Maybe you should consider taking the bus.

QSN: Ever notice how people who exaggerate use the word “literally” way more than everyone else? If you use the word “literally” more than 10 times a week…cut it out!

And now comes the silliness:

Much like MJ, I’m starting with the man in the mirror.  I’m fairly accurate but I do find myself grossly exaggerating on one specific point…

I’m quick to say that something that tastes bad tastes like dog pooh.  Having never tasted dog pooh, I’m completely unqualified to make such a declaration.  And even if I was qualified, in the name of accuracy, I couldn’t stamp the dog pooh label on two completely different dishes; unless of course, I also stated the breed of dog pooh.  With my luck I would have a friend nearby who loves accuracy even more than me and is keeping a list of what foods I’ve linked to what breeds.

ME: This bologna sandwich tastes like Australian Bulldog pooh.

FRIEND: You said that quesadilla tasted like Australian Bulldog pooh last week.

ME: No, I said that quesadilla tasted like Black Russian Terrier pooh…You know…Maybe we should start going to better restaurants.