I Don’t Know, What Do You Want To Eat?

I walked around downtown Vancouver looking for a place to eat.  Believe it or not I was in the market for a big salad. I’m actually trying a new thing where I eat healthier on the road then I do at home.  A novel idea indeed but since most eating is social I figure when I’m alone, I only have to overcome the little devil on my shoulder who tells me to eat a family sized bag of “Hint Of Lime” corn chips at 1am. If successful, I can come home lean, mean with a pocket full of cream*, not spend on snacks.

Since I was not with a woman I played the role of the man and woman. Meaning, I kept vetoing my own suggestions.  I was legitimately hungry but still spent 20 minutes walking up and down Robson St. saying…

ME: …hmmm..maybe…but let’s keep walking…
ME: I thought you were hungry?
ME: I’m starving!…but…I don’t know…

So I had to dig deep into the patience reservoir as I hem and hawed. I was driving myself crazy.  During my search I considered…Subway? It’s cheap & easy…but somehow that would take a decent day and make it a sad one. Then I passed a Gourmet Hot dog truck. It must be good because the line was around the corner right?. …Tempting but… I don’t know. How about a super market with a salad bar? …Not what I had in mind but. Hey just because something is in a plastic to go box doesn’t mean it isn’t good right?…oh the salad bar is closed…whew! That was close. Okay Thai? …Nah..they have happy hour tomorrow..maybe tomorrow. Red Robin? They probably have salads. …Red Robin?  It’s so … Red Robin. How I didn’t tell myself to go screw is beyond me.  After walking for 20 minutes I stumbled upon a swank cafe. …This might work…yeah…let’s try this. Finally!

So I got my salad.  Mind you I’m not a salad guy.  Nine times out of ten my mouth will veto my brain at the last minute and order calamari or sweet potato fries.  But I had one of those days where you work all day and feel like you got nothing done. Of course I probably got a respectable amount done. Perspective takes time. (This bronze metal will feel better on me next year.) Since my day wasn’t stellar in the work department I wanted to stick to my salad guns. Also, the dinner entree prices would have put me in a very uncomfortable strata. Especially for a Monday night. So I stuck to the script.
I ordered a salmon salad with pecans, egg, avocado, cherry tomatoes, etc. I dropped $20 on the salad.  And it was worth every G-Damn penny.  It was also worth the 20 minute walk.  Maybe women are on to something. Or maybe we’ve found another application for the 80/20 rule.** I eat to live. In fact in my inner circle I’m notorious for being able to eat anything. At least by American standards. (I’m sure people who eat live crickets would think I’m a light weight). I don’t want to become a live to eat guy but maybe sometimes is okay.  Dwayne is such a picky eater on Monday nights in Vancouver.

I did not take a picture.  Sorry I can’t be that much of a woman. Just go to the Cactus Cafe’s website I’m sure they have pics of all their dishes. Can you imagine if I caved and got a tuna sub from Subway?  I shudder to think.

http://www.cactusclubcafe.com

*Cream  = Money (Cash Rules Everything Around Me)
** Pareto’s Principle aka The 80/20 rule.  

One thought on “I Don’t Know, What Do You Want To Eat?

  1. leissa george

    Finally a thought provoking comic..I enjoyed the fact that you didn’t use 14 swear words in every every sentence. So many comics today are filling their sets swearing more but aren’t even funny and have no substance to their jokes. I realize that in the past many comics couldn’t use swear words in their act because there was a decency law in place and let’s face it, comics don’t get paid very much unless they make it big. We all had a great time watching you on nétflix. Laughed so hard we all peed a little. So true about guys lookin’ at girls and the voucher idea…brilliant!! I tell women all the time that it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be w/you when he’s lookin’, he’s just appreciating their uniqueness. I was told by my ol’ man that every time a guy looks at a girl he’s thinkin’ I could f*** that. You don’t have to worry till he starts lookin’ only at men. We have een together for over 40 sum years,so yeah it works.Plus he’s goin’ home w/you…

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