This Christmas finds me very happy to be with family and proud of my family for our new approach to the holiday. Christmas is a time of giving but give too much and you bring in new debts into the new year. You never heard about the Wise Men running up their Visas to buy the new Wii. Santa doesn’t take out a second mortgage on the North Pole to placate the Nice list.
So this year each immediate family member was assigned another to buy a gift. So I’m only on the hook for one adult family member. I mean how many sweaters, headphones, and phone cases can a guy have? The kids, of course, will continue to be spoiled rotten.
We haven’t opened our gifts yet. I’m sure I’ll be more than stoked with my one gift. I’m also excited about not paying baggage fees to get all my gifts back to Los Angeles.
In reality, Christmas came early for me. I got my gift on Thanksgiving. I went to the Laugh Factory in LA to give out food and perform a Turkey day show for the needy as well as the greedy. I ran into another comic named Chris James. A very funny guy who was a model before branching out into comedy. The kind of guy you don’t want to introduce to your girlfriend. Sure you think she’s yours and Chris would never…but why risk it? To top it off he’s from England and has an English accent. Yeah, I will never willingly introduce any of my girls to Chris. I don’t handcuff but I do avoid.
After dapping Chris up (giving him five(okay fine, shaking his hand)) He introduced me to someone he had just met, another Brit. Not sure why there was such a high Brit concentration at the Laugh Factory. Anyway, I exchanged pleasantries with the women and then she asked me, ”So, are you a model too?”, “Moi?!” The only thing stopping me from blushing was my pigment. That line really works. She was being sincere though. She was a black English woman which usually means Jamaican, which means she wasn’t blowing smoke. Well, not that kind of smoke.
Now, I don’t think I’m a troll or anything but I’ve also never been the suave guy. It’s just not my flow. I’ve always considered my charm and grace to be of the “everyman” variety. It’s probably too late to switch my operation from cool to smooth. I’m not going to seek out a modeling agency or anything but maybe I will pout a little more than I did before. I have to. I have model looks. I’ll still be funny but if you see me wearing shades and pouting just know I’m doing my Pretty Boy Swag. It’ll pass. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Merry Christmas.