Dwayne Perkins from Comedy Central & NBC's Funny Blog. Amusing Musings

Cruise ships are more fun than I remember.  Of course I’m still just working out and going to the coffee shop, like I do at home (or anywhere else in the world).  I’ve turned this floating city into my mobile headquarters.  There’s something cool about running things remotely.  I’m closing million dollar deals in the middle of the Atlantic.  Well, in my head I am.  In actuality, I’m writing blogs and doing status updates.  I think I’ll name my laptop rhythm because I’m a slave to it.  I’m also a slave to puns.

For the 1st few days of the trip, up until my show, I was the odd guy carrying a book bag everywhere.  Now, I’m the funny comedian carrying a book bag.  Now it’s all making sense to them.  It’s like once people know you tell jokes, that explains everything else about you.

Why does she put kool-aid on her cereal…Oh she’s a comediane.  That guy moonwalks everywhere..oh he’s a comic…of course.

I’ve said my share of air-headed statements that people just took as me being funny when I was really being dumb.  Did I feel a little silly walking around with a book bag while others sun bathed?  No not really.  I’m not exactly classified as a passenger, although all the services are available to me.  Like, today I did yoga.  I gotta think doing an upward dog on a rocking ship has to be a tad bit better for your core than doing one on dry land.  My goal is to take the stigma out of the phrase hard core.  Let’s put it back into the yoga lexicon where it belongs.

I’m also not a crew member.  I don’t know the lingo and I don’t have the international street-cred.  Many crew members are from foreign lands.  In the crew section of the ship  you’re expected to at least speak two languages.  English is the common language of course but it seems that in the belly of the ship people like to let loose and let their native tongue fly.  It’s like not being able to dunk a basketball on a team of high flyers.  You’re always a little on the outside looking in.  Or looking up as it were.

So I reverted to my regular daily routine and that routine calls for a book bag filled with a laptop and IPad.  Me telling jokes doesn’t really explain the book bag thing but for many people stand-ups are so exotic that there’s no telling what our process is.  All of a sudden me carrying a book bag doesn’t make the other passengers feel self conscious.  There’s a reason I’m so oddly studious and they don’t need an excuse for loafing around and eating all day.  They paid to do just that.  I’m getting paid to break up the eating with a bit of merriment.

I think I’ll use my free time to bone up on Spanish.  Next time I come on a cruise I want to be dunking or at least clapping the backboard.

Other Blog Entries For You And Yours

Wuss For Dinner

Where Have All The Cowboys Gone

Hustle and Go

A 10 second conversation in the elevator to the cruise ship I’m on served as a perspective builder for me. It didn’t give me pause as much as it slapped me in the face and made me pause.  I was  there in the lift with an elderly woman.  We both got in on the first floor.  This is where the crew stays so you don’t normally see passengers on that level unless they’re exiting or boarding the ship.  Staying down with the crew is cool but I feel like I’m the only one who wouldn’t be able to help if something went down.   I made a note to myself to learn how to tie a few knots so I can at least fill in if all the other knot makers get sick.  By the way, they don’t like when you answer everything with an “ay ay captain.”  Who knew?

The lady was coming from the nurse’s office. The ship is really choppy today so I figured she had gone for some dramamine as I too was teetering on the edge of cookie tossing.  As she stepped off the elevator she said to me.  “My sister and I finally took our first cruise…and she fell and broke her hip.”  I barely had enough time to say how sorry I was to hear that before the elevator door closed.

My first thought was how sad that these elderly ladies looked forward to this trip for who knows how long and when it finally happened this injury also happened. Is it just fate, something to not be questioned, or is it a wake-up call to me and others to stop and smell the roses before doing so breaks your hip? Of course I got off the elevator and came to write this blog.  Should I have taken heed to the cautionary tale and maybe gone and challenged a blue hair to a game of shuffle board?  I guess fun and duty are a precarious balance.  I guess it’s also silly to refer to a blog as duty.  That’s just it though.  It’s like fun and duty.  And carpal tunnel is more a risk than hip breakage, even if I am still blogging into my twilight years.  Of course then we probably won’t type anymore. Just think the blog and it’ll be uploaded directly into all my “readers” heads.

I’ve never heard of someone breaking a hip in classic tales or in the Bible.  Maybe back then you just fell and died and they didn’t really pinpoint that it was the hip.  Or maybe people fell less?  I’d like to think it’s progress that we now know about hips and can treat them.  Maybe eventually even make the whole thing preventable.  I’m not sure how far off in the future we’re talking but in the meantime do something you’ve always wanted to  and stay on your feet.

Don’t put off till tomorrow what your hip can do today.

Other Blogs:

Still Ballin’

Wonder Woman – PHD

It’s Gonna Be a Bumpy Ride

Operation HAWPO