Heavy Lifting (A Very Funny Blog)
I plan on not renewing my gym membership when my current term expires. I’m a unit price shopper. So, just like I buy gallons of milk even though I live alone because it’s less per ounce, I paid up for 3 years of gym membership because it was less per month. Now that I have resistance bands, adjustable free weights and my “street turned stationary” bike in front of my television I think i’m poised to be gym free.
I’m going to miss having a network of showers at my disposal. I’ll just have to keep a safe distance on those scorching hot days that I’m not able to get back home for another shower. A recent workout in Encino, CA reminded me that I’ll miss the people in the gym the most. I was in a plank, and not ironically, when I overheard this:
OLDER GUY: Who’s that strong fella?!
YOUNGER GUY: You must be looking at yourself in the mirror.
Okay, so far so pleasant….
YOUNGER GUY: Strength is in the mind and that makes you way stronger than me.
OLDER GUY: Well, my mind was strengthened when I became a lawyer
YOUNGER GUY: (playfully) Your’e a lawyer? Then I take it all back.
OLDER GUY: Yeah, I shape arguments to get a desired effect.
YOUNGER GUY: You mean you manipulate the truth.
OLDER GUY: There is no right or wrong. It’s all subjective.
YOUNGER GUY: That’s not what we teach the children in my school.
OLDER GUY: It’s not what’s right it’s what you can prove and how you persuade.
YOUNGER GUY: Well, deep inside, we all know right from wrong…
That was a pretty deep convo to have in between lat pull down sets. I dedicated the last minute of my plank to the kids, btw. The gym giveth but the gym taketh away as well. As I was dressing in the locker room I heard this:
GUY1: Hey man, You’re here on the weekend. I don’t normally come on the weekend
GUY2: Yeah, I had to get my car fixed nearby so I figured I would stop by and workout.
GUY1: Cool, I don’t normally come on the weekends but I didn’t drink last night.
GUY2: Cool
GUY1: Yeah I don’t normally come on the weekends but I came today.
I had to fight the urge to bang my head against my locker door. Thankfully guy 2 walked away and I was feverishly packing up when I heard guy 1 approach another guy.
GUY1: Hey man, How goes it? I don’t normally workout on the weekend….
I think I know why Guy 1 didn’t go out the night before. Eesh! When my gym membership expires, I’ll have to inspire and annoy myself.
This isn’t my 1st gym inspired blog. Check out these gems
I Tan Corrected (Funny blog from Comedy Central’s and NBC’s Dwayne Perkins)
