Say it Don’t Spray it

So I was hanging out in the Bayswater section of London.  I consider it my old stomping grounds.  So I thought, why not hang in Bayswater my last official night in London.  I hopped into a Super Drug store to get some lozenges.  The cold weather had finally got to me just as I was about to leave.  My plan was to throw lozenges down my gullut and hope I didn’t get too sick to watch 4 movies on my 12 hour flight home.

Cold-Eze are my lozenge of choice.  The zinc tastes horrible but coats your throat and cuts the sickness time in half.  Unfortunately this modern marvel of cold warfare has not made it’s way to the UK.  Regular menthol drops would have to do.  As I stood in line the guy ahead of me made a purchase and the cashier tried to upsell him on a holiday perfume deal. CK One was on sale . I’m not much of a perfume person myself.  I think regular bathing and Jergen’s Original Scented lotion is all most people really need.  You might catch me rocking Egyptian Musk if I recently made a trip to Venice Beach or Downtown Brooklyn but that’s usually because I fell prey to a bean pie upsell.

The gentleman ahead of me declined the cologne offer but did spray copious amounts of the sample bottle on this neck and chest.

QSN: At what point does sampling become stealing?

Then this guy who I’ve never met before, sprayed me.  And not just kinda in my vicinity.  He literally sprayed into my open coat.  Was he trying to tell me something?!  My smell game is impeccable so I know I wasn’t offending people in whiff shot.  I think it goes back to my innate friendliness and approach-ability.  The cashier informed him that he had actually sprayed me with the women’s scent.  The Spray Sniper proceeded to spray me again with the Men’s scent.  I was too interested in the proceedings to stop him.  I wanted to see just how far he would take it.  Was this guy just completely unaware of social boundaries or was it something about me that empowered him?  Would he have sprayed Mike Tyson if he was standing in line behind him?

The guy behind me in line seemed more put out than I was.  His face formed into the shape of disbelief with a hint of happiness that he did not get sprayed.  As oddly unlucky I was to get sprayed the sprayer was equally lucky that he sprayed me and not someone with no fondess for eccentricity.

Maybe this is why I like Bayswater.  Maybe I’m one of Bayswater’s own and with that comes random unannounced cologne spraying.  I’m smelling what ya cooking Bayswater.

QSN: Quick Side Note

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