I was checking email in the lobby of my hotel in Birmingham, England. I was in the lobby because it was the only place free wi-fi was offered. I was watching the WWE^ because that’s what was on the television in the lounge where the free wi-fi was. Ta dah!, and there is my airtight excuse for watching junk television. Like when you’re in a coffee shop and they’re out of bran muffins and only have Danishes left. You wince and sigh as you’re “forced” to get a Danish but inside you’re dancing and singing “When The Saints Go Marching In.” Of course, they’ll be marching in with apple Danishes. Who wouldn’t want to be in that number?
The WWE was quite amusing. I even found myself laughing out loud. It’s wonderfully comically how the “bad” guy gets away with so much and the referee is somehow always looking the other way and never catches him. But you let the good guy say boo and the ref is right there wagging a finger at him. The best is when the ref is shaking a finger at a good guy while his partner is getting hit with bottles and stabbed by two bad guys in the corner. The crowd is beside themselves and they can’t accept or understand why the dumb ref is missing this. Is this ref on loan from the NBA?
I laughed at how predictable it all is, almost to the point of being comforting. This is the same shtick that’s been done since I was a kid. I can laugh now but as a kid I would be outraged. My day literally spoiled by an incompetent WWE referee. It’s theater in its most primitive enjoyable form. The wrestlers could wear bigger shorts though. I mean really.
As a kid there were a few things that made me want to write my congressman. I seriously wanted to jump in the television when the rabbit was denied his Trix. The day we voted to let him have them was one of my happiest and forever cemented by faith in the democratic process.* I was also driven to hysteria by Batman taking so long to reach his utility belt.
I would like to think my cinematic tolerance has grown proportionately with my age but sadly I can’t. I don’t do well with suspense and if you see a movie with me that has me on the edge of my seat. Expect to have your arm squeezed 1 second from numbness. I can’t take a girl to a horror film because neither one of us would have anyone to turn to. We would have to bring a third person to calm us both down.
At least I can watch the WWE now without throwing things. I still can’t watch Batman take 2 minutes to reach his belt while a saw threatens to cut him in half. And yes I know it’s fake but my stomach doesn’t seem to.