I was recently in a Coffee Bean on Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles, much to the imaginary chagrin of the Starbucks across the street. I was most likely youtube-ing rap beefs when a guy sat next to me and opened up a laptop with pictures of Serena Williams having lunch with a friend. Then, another sat on the other side of me and opened up a laptop with pictures of Serena Williams…eating lunch with a friend. Yes, I was the middle of a Paparazzi sandwich.
My general disdain for them and what they stand for couldn’t completely quash my intrigue. Should I tap one on the shoulder? Maybe learn something about them that could humanize them in my mind. Or learn something about their work that might sway my thoughts.
QSN: I’ve hung out at the intersection of Beverly and Robertson in Beverly Hills before and it seems that every time I go there, there is a star sighting or two and paparazzi present to capture it. Which begs the question: Do people go there to be seen or does paparazzi go there because they know stars tend to hang there? Seems to me any star hell bent on not being seen would avoid this street like the plague. I smell complicity.
To chat not or to chat with paparazzi, that was the question. One seemed really involved with his work. To the point of it seeming like he was trying to convey self-importance but didn’t feel quite justified to stand up and scream, “I’m important!” So his deliberately furrowed brow would have to do the screaming for him. The other got on his phone and spoke so loudly I wondered if he understood the technology in his hand at all. So he too was self-important…or hard of hearing. I’m perfectly okay with public phone talking in most scenarios as long as the volume and topic of conversation is agreeable.
In the end I decided against saying anything to either. It’s best I not talk to people I already don’t like. It wouldn’t have taken much for me to treat either like a piñata if they tried to get brand new*. I may have passed up an opportunity to be pleasantly surprised but I also avoided a night in jail. Of course, ironically, maybe be pouncing on paparazzi would’ve made me paparazzi worthy. I think I made the right choice. And no, I wasn’t there to be seen. I was there for a Nissan Commercial I didn’t get.
*Brand New: being disrespectful, condescending or aloof because of a new acquisition, new station in life or the thought that the person you’re talking to is beneath you and won’t run up in your mouth.