Better Suited (A Very Funny Blog: by Dwayne Perkins)

A few days ago I had to wear a suit and tie to a commercial audition. Commercial auditions provide an odd kind of escapism via adult dress-up. Where else but a commercial audition waiting room, on any given day, can one find adults dressed as: pirates, vikings, Santa Claus and/or his helpers?

The suit and tie is my favorite skin for a day. I was able to wear a suit I picked up in jolly old London. A European slim cut suit that I can only really pull off from certain angles. Those angles being the ones that don’t show my high and sizeable caboose. To give you an idea if you haven’t seen me before, I can reach my wallet from over my shoulder. (picture it…there you got it) So until I can lace my wardrobe out with custom everything I have to work the angles that work for me.

I kept the suit on for the rest of the day after I left the audition. It’s a neat social study to see how people react to you in different garb. It’s true everybody loves a sharp dressed man. I also get to occupy a space that could have been. Bend the time space continuum and get a glimpse of what 9-5 life would have been like had I stayed on that path. It was my own personal Halloween and I felt like trick-or-treating door to door for 401K plans, performance reviews and office football pools. I’ve never felt uncomfortable in a suit and I’m not the guy who unties his tie as soon as the work bell whistles. I’m also the guy who keeps the plastic on his watch and is writing this blog on a laptop that still has the sticker at the bottom of the keyboard telling potential buyers all the key features. (I’ve had this laptop for 6 months)

The commercial? For Xerox. I played an accountant who had to chew out the Michelin Tire man for some reports he owed me. How the Michelin guy ends up in a Xerox commercial can only be chalked up to cross-marketing. I’m not sure who came first the Michelin guy or the Pillsbury doe guy. But whoever was first may want to have their lawyers place a call to the other. Fingers crossed that I get a call back.

 

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