Waiting in Memphis(Funny blog from Comedy Central’s and NBC’s Dwayne Perkins)

I recently found myself in Memphis, in front of a cash register in Krystals, waiting to be served.  Krystals is basically White Castle south.  And much like White Castle, you would have no good reason to go there before 10pm.  I was on a late night run with my cousins.  We simply needed some sustenance before bedding down for the night.  They opted to go to the Mcdonald’s on the other side of the parking lot.  I wanted those sweet White Castle indulgences they call burgers, but Krystals would have to do.

The vibe was extra ghetto.  So much that the lime green Cadillac in the parking lot barely stood out.  Separating from my two female cousins, even though we were only a small parking lot away, seemed like a major risk.  And the cop car parked two spots away from the Sprite-Can Caddy made me a smirk but not give a sigh of relief.

So I wanted to quickly make my tiny burgers run and get back to my kin folk. There was no line in Krystals but I quickly could tell that getting out of there quickly was unlikely.  A woman stood at the register counting money.  It was a minute before she looked up.  I thought, “okay, she didn’t want to lose count but now that that’s done…”

The thought was cut off by her barking an order to Keisha somewhere in the back to clock in and man the register.  Mind you there were 3 other girls visible and not working.  Well, To be accurate one was kind of sweeping but I wouldn’t look for her on the 2014 curling team.  Fine, maybe these other girls aren’t trained on the register… So another few minutes passed while I waited for Keisha to clock in while me and four idle workers looked at each other like we were all stupid.

Finally Keisha emerges to take my order.  The catch? She’s wet!  I’m serious.  Her face and hands are wet.  Oh Hell no!   Like, maybe she came straight from her job at Water World?  I’ve been waiting almost 5 minutes to order, you might as well take an extra 20 seconds and towel off.  The health inspection implications are endless.

I know some of you doubted me that the vibe was ghetto. Still doubt me? The burgers were pretty good by the way. Can’t let a little condensation and trifling ways come between me and my bite sized pieces of heaven.

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