Foaming At The Mouth (Funny blog from Comedy Central’s and NBC’s Dwayne Perkins)

So my tour of the quaintest coffee shops in America continues.  I recently found a little jewel of a place in New York City called Starbucks.  I think it may really catch on.  Even the other one directly across the street seemed delightful.

The woman in front of me ordered one of those hot beverages that gets topped of with the foam art work.  I think some sort of leaf is the artistic aim of most baristas.  But the girl behind the counter announced to me and the drink orderer, but more to me, that she could make the foam form the shape of a penis.  Now that’s what I call talent.  I was at a lost for words.  Every now and then someone says something to you that simply has no comeback.  Like the talking computer in the movie “War Games” my brain raced through all the possible responses and the counter responses each response might provoke.  In the end the only suitable thing to do was to smile and say….

ME: Wow! (pause) Yeah…um…can I get a Grande Chai…

I know some of my readers may think she was flirting with me.  Perhaps, but where do you go from there?  A whisper can eventually become a scream.  A scream can only become something dogs and dolphins respond to.

Anything I said also was in jeopardy of making me sound creepy.  Salesman have bait and switch.  Women have flirt with and creepify.  I pictured me saying something just to keep that genitalia foam art ball in the air and her doing an emotional 180 and looking at me like I was a perv with a long buttoned up trench coat on in July.

Many a men have taken the playful sexy discourse bait only to find themselves looked down upon and ostracized from the general community. I didn’t have game but I had my dignity and standing in the community.

One faithful reader, Doug Stolland, thinks I should have said, “Really? Because I have a penis that can create foam art.”

Touche, too bad you weren’t there Doug.  Although, I think that may have freaked her out and left me all alone on creep island.

2 thoughts on “Foaming At The Mouth (Funny blog from Comedy Central’s and NBC’s Dwayne Perkins)

  1. Doug Stolhand

    Best response I would have come up with is: “Really? Because I have a penis that can create foam art.”

    • Administrator

      Ha!

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