Now That’s What I Call Progress – Volume 1

In show business it behooves you to make as few enemies as possible.  Rap music being the lone exception.  In rap, a well calculated rhyming war of words can translate into millions.  In life in general it makes sense not to burn bridges.  Seems like a good idea at the time but you’ll regret it when you’re swimming through piranha infested water where a bridge used to be.

So I’ve handled my career with this in mind.  I actually like most of the people I know in the business and I’m tight lipped about the ones I don’t like; half because maybe I just don’t know them well enough yet and half because I don’t want to swim with the fishes.  So in my whole career I’m actually on record as disliking only one person.

And now the progress report. I hadn’t seen my nemesis in a few years and recently had the displeasure of running into him. To my surprise I remembered being on record as not liking him but I could not remember his name. Fair to say I’ve let it go? The bane of my existence had become a footnote destined not to even make it to future editions of my story.* I would like to say I let go of my mini grudge but in reality I just focused on what was in front of me and kept moving. In time things in the distance became within reach, stationary things in my periphery were left behind, stationary things behind me were left way behind and I forgot who it was I didn’t like.

Why the grudge? This guy came into a town I lived in playing the big time executive and dangling a pot of gold in front of the young comics.  He tried to tell me I was nervous on stage right after I had in fact had a great set.  His aim, it seemed, was to through weight around and shake up the hierarchy that had been established based on funniness.  I of course knew he was wrong and full of it.  Just four months later I made my 1st appearance on the Late Night with Conan O’Brien show.  I probably should have let go then.

He who does not feel me, is not real to me therefore he doesn’t exist so poof…vamoose son of a…**

* reference to a Elvis Costello song, “Everyday I Write The Book”

** line from a Jay-Z song, “H to the Hizo”

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