I Tan Corrected (Funny blog from Comedy Central’s and NBC’s Dwayne Perkins)

So I’m at my gym the other day and I got an offer that I could resist. A girl from the tanning salon in the same strip mall as my gym was handing out half-off coupons. As she handed it to me I of course laughed and thought to myself,the tanning promotion girl’s got a keen sense of humor and impeccable timing.

Maybe she was hitting on me or just being silly. Or maybe she saw me and said to herself, “How can I make it into his blog?” As she handed me the coupon, as if for good measure, she said:

TANNING GIRL: Maybe you can go even out your tone.

Or, maybe she figured there’s one born every minute so why not throw out a net and see if she pulls in a sucker. Perhaps she wasn’t exercising her sense of humor but working on saying outrageous things with a straight face. Which, as we should know by now, can make a person millions. I mean if you can sell tanning services to a black man then the Eskimos don’t stand a chance when you come with your tidings of ice. Perhaps this Manhattan Beach, California girl had Philadelphia style hustle.

I was almost amused to the point of taking her up on her offer. See the silliness through to the end. Almost. I am often encouraged by my commercial auditions where all the other guys are white and somehow they bring me in. It’s like the breakdown* called for everyday white guys and Dwayne. I’m flattered that they feel they can sell their products with the likes of me without it necessarily being a “Black” commercial…Cuz they’re not so stingy**.

But I think I will self impose and draw the line at tanning booths. The only booth you’ll see me in will be in a diner or a late night karaoke bar.

*Breakdown – description of a role that a producer is casting for

**quote from the silliest McDonald’s commercial ever. Hopefully Tongue and Cheek, hopefully.  Also check out my blog about being recognized in Mcdonald’s.

One thought on “I Tan Corrected (Funny blog from Comedy Central’s and NBC’s Dwayne Perkins)

  1. […] I Tan Corrected (Funny blog from Comedy Central’s and NBC’s Dwayne Perkins) […]

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