Signed, Sealed…No Delivery

So I had a show in Lake Havasu, home of the “Girls Gone Wild” series, last night.  This is my fourth show in Havasu and I’ve yet to see a “Girls Gone Wild” taping.  I have however seen a lot of wild girls.  Havasu minus spring breakers is like hanging with Randy Macho Man Savage when he’s not in costume and hasn’t just snapped into a Slim Jim.  A bit of a let down.  Don’t get me wrong, I like the place.  It’s beautiful and tranquil but I think the locals maybe try too hard to keep the party going long after the spring breakers have left.  It’s sad really.  Like that guy who won’t leave a house party.  The hosts are cleaning up and he’s still doing the Cha Cha Dance, by himself, sans Cha Cha song, while instead the Sham Wow infomercial blares in the background.

HOST: How does he know when to turn it out, or hop 3 times?

It’s hard for a small local population to sustain the party rep of thousands of young college kids.  But damn if they don’t try.  Against all logic and promises I had made to myself, I went with the other comic to a local bar called BJs.  It’s almost a ritual of ours at this point.  One of those things you do for absolutely no reason other than that you did it in the past.  It was what it always has been…sloppiness epitomized and scores of people who should have been cut off before they left the house.  One guy recognized me from TV.  Game begin.  He was a big fan and was genuinely happy to meet me as I was genuinely happy to meet him.  He fawned over me a bit which made other people notice.  Next thing I know, I’m signing autographs for people who don’t even know me.

GUY WHO DOESN’T KNOW ME: Please make that out to Gary…Who are you again?

But here’s the kicker…my one true fan was there with his girlfriend.  Not sure if she was a fan.  What I am sure of is that she asked me to sign her birth control case. Picture a small wallet with no credit cards but get out of jail free pills inside.  I guess she won’t lose it? I’m not sure what the subtext was but I was uncomfortable as hell.  My fan was cool with it though.  It’s one of those things that seem disrespectful but because it was so random there was no precedent to judge it against.

ME:  Yo dawg! I think you need to check you girl…I guess…maybe…who do I make this out to?

This sparks the debate that will grip our nation for some time to come.  What’s more disrespectful to a boyfriend: His girl having her boob signed or her birth control case?

Shout out to: Styles Night Club, BJ’s, Dallas, Chris from the BX, and Andrew (names changed to protect the guilty 🙂

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