No Man is an Island*

I returned to my car after visiting a friend to find that I couldn’t find my keys.After an extensive search of his place and the perimeter of my car, I could only conclude that I maybe left the keys in the door and someone had them.I never lock my keys in the car because my…

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CAPTAIN LITERAL

I was on a plane and before take off they said “It’s against federal regulations to tamper with, disable or destroy airplane bathroom fire detectors.” Okay….don’t you have to tamper with something to disable it. Furthermore, if you destroy something it’s pretty safe to assume that you’ve also disabled it. (Obi-Wan Kenobi* being the lone…

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Round Mound of Rebound

Why is Dwayne Wade so pressed to be in Charles Barkley’s 5?! more importantly What’s up Charles’ ass that he can’t add one of the NBA’s best to his five? even more importantly What exactly is a five? Then again, I’m the guy who never understood why the rabbit couldn’t have any Trix. It was…

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