Dwayne Perkins from Comedy Central & NBC's Funny Blog. Amusing Musings

I dropped off some stuff at Goodwill today. One man’s junk is another man’s junk. Except the second guy pays for it. I usually don’t condone this sort of thing, but I think it would be great to steal from the Goodwill. Don’t get your pants in a bunch. I’m not saying take from the needy. It’s a two-parter. After you steal it, you come back and “donate” it.

Goodwill guy: That’s odd. This is the second pair of leather skin leopard print MC Hammer pants we got in this week.

You: That’s weird. You know there were only three of these made in the whole world? What are the odds?! Maybe you should play Lotto tonight… oh yeah… make that tax deduction form out to…

Here’s an excerpt from a conversation I recently overheard in a Los Angeles coffee shop. Both women were white.

Women 1: I bet you were Asian-Pacific in your past life.
Women 2: Actually, I think I was black in my previous life.
Women 1: What makes you say that?
Women 2: People always say I was black in my previous life.

Is this something that comes up often? Always? Has guessing what someone was in a previous life become the new “what’s your sign?” I envy anyone who lives in a city where this conversation would have NOT been normal.

“In my previous life I was a Persian Virgo with a moon rising in Gemini.”
“Oh, that’s why we get along so well!”